Experiencing joy…

Experiencing joy seems to be about truly being present in the moment, to absorb every sound, sight, touch, smell, taste. I just had the most joyful and glorious weekend with phenomenal friends, talking, laughing, giving, caring, understanding. I savored each moment like it was the best meal ever, slowing down, tasting each delectable biteful. Slowing down even more between bites to appreciate those who I was fortunate to sit down with at the table. Slowing down still more to take a deep breath of  the aroma of  happpiness. Slowing down yet a bit more to absorb the sound of life’s music playing in my ears. Slowing down just enough to etch the faces of the ones I love into my memory so I can carry that joyfullness, that natural high, with me throughout the week.

Friday Night Thanks…

• incredibly entertaining emails
• bringing tears to my best friend’s eyes
  just by telling her how much I appreciate her
• a rip roaring fire I built myself
• students who love to learn
• never-ending laughter with dear friends

Mindful Gratitude…

Over the course of January, I’ve tried each morning to thank God aloud for special people and situations in my life. It’s been a wonderful practice that seems to start each day on a very positive path. Recently, a new friend told me about a practice of using the end of the day to reflect on five moments that I am thankful for from that day. Not just to reflect on them, but to write them down. So, I started doing that a few days ago and it has created a peacefulness in me. It’s done even more than that, honestly, it’s made me process what I value in the moments of my life. Being aware, fully aware, of what I am grateful for each day, twice a day, is helping me discover what my heart really does value. Choosing five specific moments from my day that I appreciate tunes me in to recognizing the goodness in my life and discovering (sometimes rediscovering) the type of life I want to lead. Writing these moments down helps me specifically identify what it was about each moment that is significant to me and etches this importance into the pages of my memory. Today already, I am thankful for the generous family who gave me delicious red velvet cupcakes yesterday and a beautiful African violet today, just for giving their daughter a ride to school. Today I am thankful for that incredible first sip of coffee. I seem to be grateful for that one every day. Today I am thankful for the trust of a family member. Today I am thankful for getting up early to enjoy more of the day. Today I am overflowing with thanks for the amazing and inspiring friendship of Julee. Okay, I did this one backwards. I was supposed to write down the five things I am thankful for at the end of the day and currently it is the morning. Guess I will have to pay attention for more moments to write down tonight. Somehow, I don’t think that will be a problem at all today.

Living in the Present

Finding my heart is about living in the present…soaking up each moment. It’s not about living in the past, too scared to move forward, and it’s not about living in the future, too worried to experience life. Living in the present is about slowing down and truly being “present” with each experience. When I get up in the morning, I no longer get up late and rush to work, I wake up before the alarm sounds, feel the warmth of my shower, tell myself I’m beautiful when I’m getting ready in the mirror, savor that first sip of hot coffee, and give thanks for the day to come. When I go for walks, I bask in the glory of the nature that surrounds me and let my soul fly with the music that propels me. When I spend time with good friends, I absorb the positive energy and shared laughter and give graciously with my attention during contemplative discussions. And when I am fortunate to be falling in love, I gaze into those mezmerizing eyes, admire that beautiful smile, listen to that enticing voice and try to hold onto that natural high for as long as it will let me. At the end of each day, still living in the present, I slide into my soft sheets under my warm down comforter and know that I am happy with my life, know that I love myself, and give thanks for an amazing day.

Two Hearts

I feel like I have two hearts…one that gains its strength by caring about and giving to others and one that has been neglected because it gains its strength from caring for myself. My “giving” heart is colossal, always overflowing. I’ve spent my entire life focused on this heart, doing for others. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with a giving heart. As a matter of fact, I am very proud of my giving heart and wouldn’t change much about it. The problem is that my “self” heart has been abandoned for a very long time, overshadowed by my “giving” heart…so much so that I almost forgot it was there entirely. Fortunately, this is a transformative year for me, so as I changed my life to improve my physical, social and emotional health, I re-discovered what remained of my “self” heart. Step by step, moment by moment, I have been nurturing my other heart, reviving it. It seems the more I take care of myself, my needs, the more I have to give to others.

I gave so much in the past that I thought I had nothing left to give. I was wrong. The MORE I take care of myself, the MORE I have to give. My two hearts are both bigger, stronger, healthier than ever before. They seem to feed off of each other to the point where I am now…two hearts overflowing!